"When you look at everything we have done this semester, what stands out to you as meaningful? "
Reflection
When I think back to each reading and activity we have completed throughout this semester, I feel strongly and kindly about each one. I feel that this course was beneficial and necessary to my development as a teacher. Personally, two readings and an in-class activity resonated the most. Delpit (and Johnson) helped to break the ice when speaking about issues within the education system. Johnson is an honorable mention because his philosophy was to "say the words." This helped make it easy to address topics surrounding injustice. In my service learning, I witnessed examples of Lisa Delpit's writing each time I stepped into the classroom. Often the language or phrases that were used with the students were delivered in a passive language, for example
"Are we supposed to get up from our desks?"
"Do we speak when the teacher is talking?"
"Are we supposed to be spinning right now?"
These types of phrases almost always set the teacher up for a response they were not looking for. To prompt satisfactory behaviors, the children must be told explicitly what the expectations are. We cannot expect children to know what they have not been taught or told.
Next, I think of the Baranga card game we played. When we did this activity in class, I felt so confused. I kept rereading my instructions to make sure I was not incorrect. I felt shocked every time I witnessed someone abide by different rules that were not on my paper. I felt lost. When I connect this back to my service learning, I realize how scary and frustrating it must be for the students in the classroom who are behind. I work with 3 ESL students who are currently learning how to recognize and count numbers 1-10. Meanwhile, the rest of the class is making 5-groups, number bonds, and learning to add. I see the determination on their faces every time the teacher announces it is time for math. I watch as they try to keep up, then eventually avert their eyes to the kids at their table to copy because keeping up with the teacher's rapid instruction is too much. I see how bashful they become when the teacher announces "You got it correct, but I know you copied" or "They are so far behind, they need all the help they can get." When I worked with these students, I realized immediately that they understood the topics they were working on, they just needed slower and more individualized instruction. It wasn't that these students were not trying, their needs were just not being met.
Finally, I connect this all back to Shalaby's writing; The Canaries in the Coalmine. There are two canaries in my service learning classroom. Both were extremely bright students. One was quiet and brooding, yet quick to act out (student A). The other was full of energy and was crying out for attention (student B). I only had the privilege of having one of these children in my actual group, but I always made an effort to greet and exchange a few words with the other child whenever possible. The teacher and these students did not always get along. On most days, student B and the teacher did not get along. I believe she was tired of constantly reminding student B to raise their hand before speaking or to stay in their seat. In my eyes, this was always the student asking for help or change. Perhaps they needed more support than the teacher was offering.
I've never had the space to have open discussions about topics such as race, power, gender, or sexuality. I have also never felt comfortable speaking on topics such as these, as I grew up in a predominantly straight, white, and upper-middle-class town. I was very used to having my voice shut down or ridiculed, so I learned to stay quiet. I am thankful for the space created in this classroom and I look forward to continuing the development of my teacher identity.
